The Bullsh*t of a Perfect Relationship

In today's post I wanted to talk about perfect relationships. Do they exist? Or is everything about a perfect relationship utter bullshit? I'm going to tell you about the oo's and ah's, the in's and the out's of a relationship, whether it is something you have experienced or not, at the end of this post you may either be completely put off relationships, or be more open minded about being in one or getting in them. I reached out to my followers on twitter and asked in a poll whether they thought their relationship was perfect.. Out of 42 votes, only 19% thought yes, 33% voted sometimes and a 48% said no. 

As a quick disclaimer this post is based on my own relationships and relationships which have been built around me. 

I am now 20 years old, and I have had what I think, two long term relationships. My first long term relationship was with someone I met just three months before making it 'official' and lasted a year and a half . Was it perfect? No. My second long term relationship is the relationship I am currently in, except this time we have known each other for six years. Is my relationship perfect? NO. The relationships my friends and family have, they are not perfect either. So, what is perfect? Will my relationship ever be perfect? Of course, at times, moments in my relationship do feel that way, but most of the time it isn't because life gets in the way.

My personal thoughts on a relationship is that your relationship is going to be the way you let it be. For those of you in new relationships, if you think your relationship is perfect... then maybe wait until the "honeymoon" period wares off and then think again. If you are one of those very lucky people who actually has a perfect relationship, then bravo! These days, relationships are everywhere. Couples will pass you in the street hand in hand, looking so happy, then you'll see couples posting everywhere on social media with pictures and soppy captions, but we don't see what's behind closed doors and behind those pictures. I have found myself comparing many of my relationships to those I see online, wondering why they can't be as simple and amazing as the ones I have seen. It is actually quite sad thinking about it, but let us all be honest, we all have at least once wished for a relationship like Kelly has down the road. 

Relationships are fun, but difficult. You are allowing yourself to share your life with this random person who's decided to do the same. Maybe, you meet this person in a totally normal way, for example, at school, college, university, at work, down the pub or even in a club. Or maybe, you could meet this person in the most random place, such as the soup aisle in Tesco's, when your running on the treadmill in the gym and catch them looking at you in the mirror, or even meeting them when they are delivering your pizza. Who knows? That is your story. But meeting this person is just the start. Hell, it feels amazing to have someone in my life where I can talk absolute crap without being judged. It is nice to have someone to cook for me when I am so not in the mood to move, or to scoff a takeaway with whilst having a Friends marathon for the tenth time. It is also great having someone to sleep next to, wake up to and basically do everything together which you'd usually do solo. I bet when you first started dating your other half, you didn't think about the argument you would have about who's going to do the dishes or who's going to do the dirty laundry? My guess is, probably not. The smallest things can drive me up the bloody wall with my boyfriend - seriously! 

The way I see it is, all relationships will have a rough patch, unless your twelve and you last a week, then we'll rule that one out. In my own mind, since I was as young as I remember, up until this day, I have always painted a pretty picture of what my perfect relationship would be like. This dream relationship would be where both of us were constantly happy, loved every single thing about each other, no issues whatsoever. But let's face it, will that ever happen? Probably not. As a couple you are not going to agree on everything, you will hate each other, and remember those small things which made you fall for your other half? You will eventually hate them too. Now, I'm not saying if your relationship isn't perfect, that it won't work, because it will, if it is worth it. 

The most minor problems as a couple which you needn't worry about are things such as neither of you wanting to watch what the other does in the cinema, what to have for dinner, or the fact they snore like a gorilla. Real problems are where you find yourself stuck and begging for a way out. I find that a lot of relationships are built on lies. It is almost everyone's way out of letting the other person see the bad in them, because obviously nobody wants someone they just met to hate them before they even get started. But sometimes, lies get taken too far or they don't uncover. It is that moment where you think you know everything and for example someone else comes out with something you have never heard, or heard a different story. The moment where you find yourself not knowing who the hell you're with, but it's the willingness inside of you to work through it. It is also small things such as not having any money. Money isn't everything but it does help a lot for your own independence, and if you don't have that, then you will find yourself relying on you other half, which will most definitely cause problems in the future. 

HOWEVER, the beauty of a relationship is that, whether it works out or not, you will find yourself and who you really are through it. You will figure out your worth, even after putting up with things you never thought you would, but after that you will never settle for anything less. You will realize things about yourself, such as having it in yourself to understand how to love someone at their worst, or even when they least deserve it, putting yourself through the inevitable and then, coming out stronger. The truth is though, you shouldn't have to pretend to yourself that your relationship is perfect, you should be happy in whatever relationship you are in. If you struggle to find happiness, get out.

So, relationships are not what they are made out to be. It won't always be breakfast in bed and foot rubs, you will come across hard times. Personally, a relationship will never always be perfect. Life will get in the way. My relationship is not perfect, but I am very happy. I will post my relationship on social media, I will act like it is amazing. I will not expose the problems of my relationship, as that is between us. But we are far from perfect. A real relationship is not perfect. A real relationship is where two people will respect each other and work through their problems together, have the right priorities, are willing to make compromises and eventually fight for the relationship and come out even stronger at the end. This way you will be perfect for each other, in a real relationship.

The bullshit of a perfect relationship is that it exists.