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The Bullsh*t of a Perfect Relationship

22/02/2018



In today's post I wanted to talk about perfect relationships. Do they exist? Or is everything about a perfect relationship utter bullshit? I'm going to tell you about the oo's and ah's, the in's and the out's of a relationship, whether it is something you have experienced or not, at the end of this post you may either be completely put off relationships, or be more open minded about being in one or getting in them. I reached out to my followers on twitter and asked in a poll whether they thought their relationship was perfect.. Out of 42 votes, only 19% thought yes, 33% voted sometimes and a 48% said no. 

As a quick disclaimer this post is based on my own relationships and relationships which have been built around me. 

I am now 20 years old, and I have had what I think, two long term relationships. My first long term relationship was with someone I met just three months before making it 'official' and lasted a year and a half . Was it perfect? No. My second long term relationship is the relationship I am currently in, except this time we have known each other for six years. Is my relationship perfect? NO. The relationships my friends and family have, they are not perfect either. So, what is perfect? Will my relationship ever be perfect? Of course, at times, moments in my relationship do feel that way, but most of the time it isn't because life gets in the way.

My personal thoughts on a relationship is that your relationship is going to be the way you let it be. For those of you in new relationships, if you think your relationship is perfect... then maybe wait until the "honeymoon" period wares off and then think again. If you are one of those very lucky people who actually has a perfect relationship, then bravo! These days, relationships are everywhere. Couples will pass you in the street hand in hand, looking so happy, then you'll see couples posting everywhere on social media with pictures and soppy captions, but we don't see what's behind closed doors and behind those pictures. I have found myself comparing many of my relationships to those I see online, wondering why they can't be as simple and amazing as the ones I have seen. It is actually quite sad thinking about it, but let us all be honest, we all have at least once wished for a relationship like Kelly has down the road. 

Relationships are fun, but difficult. You are allowing yourself to share your life with this random person who's decided to do the same. Maybe, you meet this person in a totally normal way, for example, at school, college, university, at work, down the pub or even in a club. Or maybe, you could meet this person in the most random place, such as the soup aisle in Tesco's, when your running on the treadmill in the gym and catch them looking at you in the mirror, or even meeting them when they are delivering your pizza. Who knows? That is your story. But meeting this person is just the start. Hell, it feels amazing to have someone in my life where I can talk absolute crap without being judged. It is nice to have someone to cook for me when I am so not in the mood to move, or to scoff a takeaway with whilst having a Friends marathon for the tenth time. It is also great having someone to sleep next to, wake up to and basically do everything together which you'd usually do solo. I bet when you first started dating your other half, you didn't think about the argument you would have about who's going to do the dishes or who's going to do the dirty laundry? My guess is, probably not. The smallest things can drive me up the bloody wall with my boyfriend - seriously! 

The way I see it is, all relationships will have a rough patch, unless your twelve and you last a week, then we'll rule that one out. In my own mind, since I was as young as I remember, up until this day, I have always painted a pretty picture of what my perfect relationship would be like. This dream relationship would be where both of us were constantly happy, loved every single thing about each other, no issues whatsoever. But let's face it, will that ever happen? Probably not. As a couple you are not going to agree on everything, you will hate each other, and remember those small things which made you fall for your other half? You will eventually hate them too. Now, I'm not saying if your relationship isn't perfect, that it won't work, because it will, if it is worth it. 

The most minor problems as a couple which you needn't worry about are things such as neither of you wanting to watch what the other does in the cinema, what to have for dinner, or the fact they snore like a gorilla. Real problems are where you find yourself stuck and begging for a way out. I find that a lot of relationships are built on lies. It is almost everyone's way out of letting the other person see the bad in them, because obviously nobody wants someone they just met to hate them before they even get started. But sometimes, lies get taken too far or they don't uncover. It is that moment where you think you know everything and for example someone else comes out with something you have never heard, or heard a different story. The moment where you find yourself not knowing who the hell you're with, but it's the willingness inside of you to work through it. It is also small things such as not having any money. Money isn't everything but it does help a lot for your own independence, and if you don't have that, then you will find yourself relying on you other half, which will most definitely cause problems in the future. 

HOWEVER, the beauty of a relationship is that, whether it works out or not, you will find yourself and who you really are through it. You will figure out your worth, even after putting up with things you never thought you would, but after that you will never settle for anything less. You will realize things about yourself, such as having it in yourself to understand how to love someone at their worst, or even when they least deserve it, putting yourself through the inevitable and then, coming out stronger. The truth is though, you shouldn't have to pretend to yourself that your relationship is perfect, you should be happy in whatever relationship you are in. If you struggle to find happiness, get out.

So, relationships are not what they are made out to be. It won't always be breakfast in bed and foot rubs, you will come across hard times. Personally, a relationship will never always be perfect. Life will get in the way. My relationship is not perfect, but I am very happy. I will post my relationship on social media, I will act like it is amazing. I will not expose the problems of my relationship, as that is between us. But we are far from perfect. A real relationship is not perfect. A real relationship is where two people will respect each other and work through their problems together, have the right priorities, are willing to make compromises and eventually fight for the relationship and come out even stronger at the end. This way you will be perfect for each other, in a real relationship.


The bullshit of a perfect relationship is that it exists.
33 comments on "The Bullsh*t of a Perfect Relationship"
  1. Such a beautiful blog post Whitney! I couldn't agree more with you!

    Xoxo
    Shirley | https://shirleycuypers.blogspot.be

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  2. I loved reading this and totally agree. Being 21 and in a relationship for nearly a year and a half myself, I can definitely relate to not having a 'perfect' relationship. It'd really surprise me if there was any such thing. Considering I'd never been in a relationship before this, it's been one of the biggest learning curves of my life but I've loved (almost) every moment of it. I believe there's perfect moments in a relationship, but not perfect relationships.

    Luce xo

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  3. Awesome post! Really enjoyed this read and I couldn’t agree more, you really do find yourself when you’re in a relationship! Loved it!

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  4. This is wonderfully written, love this!
    Alys
    https://alysjournals.wordpress.com/

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  5. I wanted to let you know how nice this was to read. My relationship with someone very very very special to me broke off on Monday and I’ve been really struggling. Although we had our issues he was my own little ray of sunshine, and unfortunately it wasn’t a problem with us that ended it. I’m absolutely heartbroken but this post made me smile. I’m so glad you’re happy, and I hope you will continue to be. This has made me look back on my recent relationship and appreciate the time we had together. Thank you so much x

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  6. I thought this was a really interesting piece! I think all relationships of any kind and with all different people are allowed to different and what might be a perfect relationship for one person, might be completely different for somebody else and that’s ok!

    Ellyn x | Life Of A Beauty Nerd

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  7. This was such a lovely, honest post! I completely agree with you that no real relationship is perfect, there are always going to be things you disagree on but that's because you are different people and you won't always like the same things or have the same views. What is important is that you respect each others' opinions and that you are able to come to a compromise and work through your problems instead of throwing the towel in the first time you encounter a problem!

    Jess xx
    foundationsandfairytales.wordpress.com

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  8. relationships are a full time job, you get what you put in. nothing is perfect, but you can both work hard to have a great relationship :)

    budgetgirlife.com

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  9. Being in a long term relationship myself, I found this so relatable! The key to finding a healthy and happy relationship is understanding and accepting that it’s not going to be perfect all the time but if you’re willing to work at it the you can make the most amazing memories! x

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  10. This was such a great honest post and I couldn’t agree more! No relationship is really perfect but it’s perfect to you if you want it to be.

    Jessica & James | www.foodandbaker.co.uk / www.foodandbakertravels.co.uk

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  11. I love this post, it's so well written!

    Ashley | hiyaitsashley.com

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  12. No such thing as perfect:) and perfect is boring anyway ( I think). You made some very good point in this post and I especially liked the one about finding yourself and your strength even when things don't work out. That is such an important thing to remember and a positive way to look at it.

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  13. This was such an interesting read! 😊 I don’t think any relationship is “perfect” 24/7, but as long as it makes you happy and you love the person, that’s what matters 😊

    Jade xx
    jademarie.co.uk

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  14. Love, love, love this post. Personally, I think relationships shouldn't be perfect. Like you said, relationships aren't always breakfast in bed or foot rubs. I think that going through hard times with the one you love, experiencing loss together or perhaps losing each other for a while makes for a stronger relationship in the long run - especially if you're compatible. My own relationship is perfectly imperfect, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  15. This is such a great post!
    Everyone has such different ideas of perfect and I think the best relationships are those that you know and accept aren't perfect but they're so many other things: supportive, loving, nurturing etc.
    Imperfectly perfect is the way forward.

    Louisa | Loubee Lou Blogs

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  16. This is such a great post. I have to admit I am lucky with my relationship it is good, of course it isn't perfect, what is perfect? But we support each other as best we can and work through any issues as much as possible. It's not perfect, I will never pretend it is.

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  17. I honestly love this post. I totally agree no relationship is perfect. But two people can work at hard at it and make it into something worthwhile! X

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  18. Such a well written post! I'm super happy in my relationship but wouldn't say it's perfect because no relationship is xx
    http://www.dellalovesnutella.co.uk/

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  19. I totally agree, I think relationships can be perfect for you as a couple, but it doesn't make them perfect overall. There's always going to be tough patches to work through but that's life and makes your relationship stronger x

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  20. I have been happily married for 15 years now, and there is no such thing as perfect believe me! I think that any relationship has it's rollercoasters and you always need to work at a relationship if it's important! :)

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  21. I absolutely love this post! I think every relationship is never perfect but as long as you are both willing to work you will make it as perfect as it can be for you guys as a couple x

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  22. I like reading these types of posts I find it interesting to what other people have got to say about certain topics. I agree with you though, I have been in a relationship for 3 years, no relationship is perfect but of course you can have perfect moments x

    https://sharnahsblog.wordpress.com/

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  23. Some things to think about in this post for sure! I don't think any relationship is completely perfect..but then again maybe the perfect relationship is one where you both respect each other enough to work the non-perfect parts =-) Great post!

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  24. I think as far as relationships go, the word perfect is quite subjective. No two realtionships are the same and as long as you both feel the same way about each other, then that is perfect in your world

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  25. whoah this blog is magnificent i really like reading your posts.
    Stay up the great work! You already know,
    many individuals are looking round for this information, you could aid them greatly.

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  26. With my 12 years of relationship with my partner, that there is no such perfect relationship. There will always be ups and downs. Good thing, we always patch up with everything.

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  27. theres definitely no such thing as a 'perfect relationship' its all about hard work and compromise I think! x

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  28. Love this post, it’s so true that nothing out there is perfect and what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. I think as long as you’re happy and content in your relationship then you can create your own version of perfection

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  29. Such a great post with a wonderful message. I totally agree!

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  30. I definitely agree with this. Relationships aren't perfect. Everyone has to compromise in relationships.

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  31. I literally love your honesty on your blog, it makes it all so personal. Fab post and so true. Relationships are SO hard and I think that's what makes them so hard to be perfect! x x x

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  32. We have our good points and our bad points, you cannot choose which wants your partner can keep. https://www.relationshipstartersblog.com/what-to-talk-about-with-a-girl/

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  33. For this reason, it is important to accept relationships for what they are. If we invalidate what we have drawn into our lives, we are really invalidating ourselves.Fort Worth escorts

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