This post is slightly different to my usual posts and to be honest, I haven't really ever written about education. If you know me personally, you probably know that I hate education. I mean, I have nothing against it, in fact I think it is great that it is so widely available! However, for me, I just would rather not, you know? But there we go, I'm contradicting what I just said because I decided to go to University. You're probably thinking "What the hell is this gal on about?".. but let me just explain my love/hate relationship with education...
Throughout school I was never really 'brainy', but I was in the second highest set. I believe everyone has certain subjects in school which they are better at than others, mine was English and ICT. All my other subjects I just managed to get the grades I wanted and that's because I never had it in me to try hard enough in the subjects I didn't like. My first major achievement in school which made me really want to do something with my life is when I sat an English exam with my set and a set below me. It was when I was the only person who passed in my school for that exam, that I wanted to actually do better. So, I applied for college and made sure I got all the grades I needed to get in. Although, my biggest regret in school is not the fact I didn't try hard enough in the subjects I hated, but the fact I wasn't able to be myself because of the fear of the people around me. Maybe, if I was able to be myself in school, I would have been able to feel comfortable in my classes and could have thought more positively towards subjects I hated.
Then there was college. I did four AS Levels the first year; Sociology, Business, ICT and Welsh Baccalaureate. I would have loved to have done English Language in college but it wasn't an option unless I took English Literature too - funnily enough, I hated that. College was so different to school as I was surrounded by new people and the people I feared in school were not in any of my classes and I could actually open up! I loved Sociology and Business as it was so different to what I had done previously in school - and of course they were subjects I chose so I felt better about them overall! ICT... well, as I previously said, ICT was something I was good at in school. But in college the teacher we had was too busy signing up for gym classes during the hour, so never actually taught us anything or told us what to do, apart from throwing a book in front of us and telling us to get on with it. Uhhh.... get on with what hun? With that, it wasn't long until she was gone. Then exam period came. Not good. I could not motivate myself to revise for whatever reasons I had and guess what !!! I failed e v e r y subject!
I chose to start over because I was soooo upset that I had let myself down and wasted a year of my life and achieved nothing! I did another two years in college and changed my ICT course to Health and Social Care because I knew I didn't want to do it ever again after that teacher. I didn't 100% put my head down like I told myself I would, because I know that's not me and like I said, I'd rather not when it comes to education. The last year of college I decided that I might actually want to go to University. Originally, all through school and the first two years of college, I wanted to finish college with my results and then work full time until 21. Then when I would turn 21 I would go back to college to do a Counselling course and that was something I was really passionate about and set on doing. But no, I told myself I should apply for University and push myself harder. I got my offers and I thought I'd never get in with the grades they were asking for because of my previous history when it comes to grades. So I came up with a back up plan of applying for full time work as a carer until I was 21. Results day came and I got in to University.
Needless to say, I was not prepared to go to University. I had told myself so many times that I wouldn't get in that I believed I'd never have a chance! I remember telling my friend on results day to check her UCAS to see if she got in, because she was so set on going! I didn't even check my UCAS and wanted to wait until I got my results. Funny story actually: whilst I was getting ready, my phone rang. I never answer unknown numbers, but for some insane reason I answered - "Hi, is this Whitney? I would like to congratulate you on getting into Criminology at Swansea University" ... WHAT? I was not expecting this!! I was so bloody shocked that I just said "Oh thank you" and hung up! Thinking back to it, he must of thought I was so rude! Oooooops.
A couple of weeks later I'm on campus and going to my first lecture! University is totally different to school and college. The likelihood of being in the same classes as anyone you actually know, unless planned, is very unlikely. FANTASTIC! In fact I have met five wonderful girls who are completely off their heads and it's great!
But here comes the shit. I take Criminology and Social Policy. I thought it would be fab learning new interesting things but some of the subjects within these courses are just... what? I HATE History, and one of the Social Policy subjects in Semester one was exactly that. No thanks hun! There was absolutely nothing Criminological about Semester one too... like what even is Study Skills?? I think I did that in Year 4. But now we are in Semester two. A lot more criminology which I am totally loving, but I have never done Law before, and the lecturers automatically assume you have - so what did you just say again? I'm paying £9,000 a year (eventually) to try to keep up with things I have never learnt before - but are being taught as if I have.. Also, I'm only there two days a week, one day is just for two hours, and the other day is just for four. There is no free parking and you have to park in a public car park which is a five to ten minute walk, depending where you park - which costs you £3-£5 a go.. I'm not a fan of having to walk basically miles with my arm falling off because of the ridiculous weight of books in my bag. I'm also not a fan of having to pay to park when I'm always bloody skint anyway!! Regardless of this, I have to drive half an hour to get to University and as a student money doesn't stretch far anyway. Sometimes I can't go in because I have used all my petrol to get to work and can't afford to drive there - or more likely can't afford the parking fee for just two hours!!! PS: How do people who live in uni manage to live???!
Although my course is classed as full time, at the moment it just feels like a waste of £9,000. I know a lot of the time you have to do your own research, but when I don't even know what is being said because I have never learnt it, I don't have a clue where to start!
Soooo... Why do I still go? My end goal is to have a career where I can earn enough for my family and myself to live comfortably. I don't think it matters how much I hate education and how much I would rather be doing anything else than sitting in a lecture hall at 9AM, my future is what is important. Immediate gratification is something I would absolutely love to be able to make myself do, but I have to graduate. Besides this, I don't want to be in a full time job yet anyway and I want to find myself by pushing to do these challenges - otherwise what's the point? The most bizarre thing about all this is the fact I want to do my Masters after I have finished my three long years doing my undergraduate course. Am I mad? Yes.
I would love to hear your thoughts on education and University as a whole! I would also love to know what you decided to do after school/college, so let me know in the comments below!
Until next time,
Whitney.